day 15: hasty

All my bad decisions have one thing in common: haste. Sometimes, looking back, I wonder why I cannot have it all. But most of the time, I realize I already do.

I want so very badly to ignore the interview, to carry on with life as it is. But leaving this opportunity would be to follow my pattern of haste. I don’t want to slam another door closed because it does not have a place in my right-now vision of my future.

It’s funny: giving up the staring role in a summer camp play used to be my greatest regret. I adorned it with omens, tracing every failure back to that fateful decision. Now “greatest regret” belongs to Austin. When will this seem as trivial as a Midsummer’s Night’s Dream? Perhaps when I finally realize that I cannot change the past. I need to study Special Relativity again.

But not too carefully, for I still mean to have a hand in my future. No deterministic theory can change that desire, no matter how beautiful or true.

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3 thoughts on “day 15: hasty

    • Thanks daddy! It’s from Japan (Kyoto.) Aby took it when we were going to Matsumoto! That was a wonderful trip…

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