day 219: parallel visions

la’M and I adventured our way through Clarendon. Our timing rivaled Ciara’s: we caught free parking and a wicked band playing in the square. M and I agreed that we hope they make it big: marquees, tour buses, and cash cash money. Usually we criticize fame-mongers, mostly because we believe we’re more deserving. But this group was on point, pitch perfect, and had that enviable ability to make a cover as musical as the original.

How could a boy be so sad on such a day?
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Boomer made a new friend who looked a lot like Duke.

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And M and I talked for hours. And hours. And hours more.

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Actually it was just three hours (so: hour, and hour, and hour.) One joint rumination worth storing in my memory palace concerns adverse dreams: one for freedom from our societal structures, the other for their soaring architectures.

Having just returned from Hawaii nei, the little one yearns for the easy attitude of plenty aloha. But amidst the N. Arlington queue of hipsters and moneybags, she buys the products that help her fit in so she can say she stands out.

Likewise, my dreams clash. I blast country music and stare at pictures of the ocean, wistfully remembering the lull of waves and getting lost in Whole Larder Love’s revolutionary retreat from civilization’s norms. I speak of hunting and foraging and building a house on a land where the kids can roam free. I scoff at commutes and 9 to 5s and doing things because they’re “supposed to be done.”

But all the while I work toward becoming an orthopedic surgeon. I study for the MCATs. I bury myself in research. I subject my family to sacrifices no “normal” person would make. All this for the chance of a yard for the boom and a gym for the A. And the supposed satisfaction I will feel at contributing to society in a stimulating manner; yes, the society from which I crave liberation.

My city/country conundrum becomes tangible in my financial concerns. I despise money for the power it has over me. My heart whispers: be free! Surf the wild sea. Hunt the untamed forests. Drink the golden sunshine. My brain shouts: produce! Work! Make fortunes. Build security. Provide. They search for the same ideal: freedom from the doldrum days of survival for survival’s sake. My heart seeks it in money’s sweet absence, my brain in money’s excess abundance.

The dreams are parallel visions, born from childhoods split among states and cultures. Shall they meet? It is possible. Anything is possible at the singularity.

KT

out

WOD: DNF. accomplished 15 hang cleans, 15 pushup to squats, 15 hang cleans, 15 pushup to squats, 7 hang cleans at #95 pounds in 10 minutes. Then rowed 1000 m in 4:55.

MCAT: acids and bases, buffers and titrations

 

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2 thoughts on “day 219: parallel visions

  1. How to reconcile the two is one of the toughest parts of life. Be happy, be responsible, be both and remain sane. It’s the gold ring.

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