day 72: i’m wide awake, it’s morning

I thrive on adrenaline only if I am prepared. Yesterday, that stranger of bundled nerves and Great Expectations made a bed in my belly; the feeling slumbers there, benign but growing ever larger as the seconds tick down, set to awake once the test is set before me. The questions decide what that mass does: squirt energy and confidence or erupt with blinding frustration. Yesterday’s exam was fantastic until questions on EKGs began to dominate. Then I was on a slippery slope.

I survived by the skin of my teeth; a 90% is required to pass and a 90% I got.

Preparation is knowing everything possible about everything, or as close as I can get. In CrossFit it’s not knowing, it’s doing. Was I prepared for 13.1? No. In hindsight, I should have taken the initiative to practice the #75 snatch before the workout, to feel it and to know I could do it right there and right then. Am I prepared for 13.2? No. I still feel weak from this illness I contracted (WEAK) which signifies nothing but a weaker-than-necessary immune system.

With CrossFit, I have time. I have goals, and I will attain them.

With medicine, my time is limited. The nine month countdown to the MCAT is nigh. Will I go in prepared? That pulsating knot of potential only helping me to perform? Or will I be shaky? I cannot be shaky in anything.

Preparedness…my superpower of choice.

Here goes nothing,
KT

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