day 65: corners and seams

Another sub-50% score on my ScribeAmerica in-class quiz haunts me this morning. I’ve performed poorly in these initial classroom sessions. My trend of humiliating test-performance is disconcerting given the upcoming most-important-test-of-my-life-commonly-known-as-the-MCAT.

What to do, what to do…(la di da la di doo)

Solution: I am making “studying” my hobby. I will devote my extra minutes to learning AND memorizing, as opposed to incessantly refreshing instagram. (The relief of facebook’s absence is refreshing, but to no avail if I let instagram replace it as vampire of my time.)

Weariness continues to bite at my heels. I must put foot in front of foot. If the glory of my straining muscles becomes too much to bear, I must turn to relish the changing weather: the small breeze that comes with moving forward, the sunshine of a pup’s little talks, dawn’s steady appearance in my husband’s encouragement, even the singularity of those torrential downpours and nights that stretch on too long. Each moment a treasure and a stepstone on the path to where I’m going. If I continue this way, I trust that where I’m going may not be where I want to be, but it will be where I ought to be.

There’s a saying  often said at Trident: trust the process.

Trust requires investment of time, of patience, and most of all of oneself. So, I will trust the process, now that I know what it is. And I will let it seep into every corner and fill every seam.

goodnight world


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