and

Trapped away for her first weeks, his last…all I wanted was to be home.  Home to cry, home to smile, home to rest my head on your shoulder.  You held the phone so I could tell him how much I love him, how sorry I was. Thank you for being with him.  You carry my heart in yours, you brought me with you. 

You filmed her, documenting so that we could share the swells in our chests, the laughter in our eyes. 

On the boat, I would think of you, imagine you beside me, or looking back from the stern with that matchless smile.  I must teach you how to swim…then we’ll go sailing one day, a gentle day when the sun is shining.  We’ll sail and drift our way around a little harbor, talking of nothing and comfortable in silence.  Boomer will sun herself on the bow, and gnaw on all the ropes, little tail wagging and ears perked in delight.

Any dreams I have are empty without you.  You are the “and” in my life. Without you, my world would be severed: puzzle pieces that no one wants to put together.

I love you.

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